Every time a client starts a process, we have an opportunity to think with them about their personal goal – something that we will work towards together in each and every session we share. A well-chosen goal accompanies the client also between sessions, and even when the process is being completed.
The reasons people come to a process are many – just like any request for help and support. We all know that feeling at certain moments in our life, when we feel the need for somebody else’s advice, for somebody else’s guidelines, for somebody else to listen to us and help us lead our own life in the direction we want it to go.
A reason is often just a trigger – something meaningful enough that made the person stop for a moment and re-think, re-choose, or re-question themselves. It might have been a crisis, or it may be a dream that insists on being fulfilled. It might be a change the person knows they need to make, or they may simply seek support in insisting on their way in a situation. It could be anything – from a physical pain, to some ache of the heart or the desire to have more happiness in life.
Whatever it is, it was important enough for the client to come to us. It was meaningful enough to push them to take action. So, the first thing that we as practitioners can do with it is respect it; listen carefully for the reasons and the motivation. We should be attentive enough to hear the words and to listen to all that is being said also in between the sentences. We should notice that something is important enough for this specific client to wish for a change.
Here are a few points to help you in the shared search for your client’s goal:
- It doesn’t have to happen immediately. Often finding somebody’s clear, authentic intention is something that happens over time. If we are too eager to find the ‘right goal’ we might be too busy achieving. It’s important to first enjoy the way and teach our clients to be curious about their own wishes.
- The only person that truly knows their life goal is the person themselves. Our clients have all the necessary inner wisdom with regard to themselves and what they truly wish for and want. Our job often as practitioners is to let our clients find it in themselves and in their life and trust it. To give it words and then experience that – accompanied by their clarity – so it can be expressed in their reality.
- Every part of our client knows what they wish for. Their brilliant brain knows it, just the same as their belly, their knees, and their heart know it. Their life knows it, their actions know it, their decisions know it. If we can teach them to trust it and to put all of themselves behind their intention, they will notice the power their own authentic intention can have in their own life and for the lives of others.
- Goals are meant to be updated, changed, and transformed. There is no need to look for the one and only true goal – the one we choose today might change or be updated next week. We should have a general idea in mind, but also be prepared for surprises, when we are searching at the heart of people’s greatest desires.
- Although goals exist in the future, we can also find their roots in the past. When an intention is real and true, we almost always find that it has roots in the client’s life. When links from the past are being established, it might give our clients a tremendous amount of strength and confidence in their search, when they relate to their present goals.
- Every personal goal is a part of a bigger picture. Every detail is a part of a whole web of resources, qualities, values, abilities and possibilities that make each of us who we are. This why discovering, following and choosing goals is another way to connect our clients to the bigger picture of their life.
Having intentions and goals in life, allows us to shape our own destiny. Our thoughts, our heart and our actions together have some clear direction. They all move us forward in this mystery of life. As practitioners, this becomes even more important, as it allows us to join our clients in their life and shape our sessions. However, it is fundamentally their intentions, reasons and personal goals that are the major part of what paves our way forward together.