The Benefits of Being both Friends and Business Partners

If you know anything about the Pantarei Approach, you probably know that it was founded by two women, two visionary partners, two friends – Claudia Glowik, and I, Vered Manasse. We are both friends and business partners and we love it. Our long-lasting friendship forms an integral part of what the Pantarei Approach is, and the values it holds.

Today is the International Day of Friendship, and as such, I wanted to share some of our story, and with it, some insights we have accumulated over the years about being both friends and business partners.

Going into business with a friend

I know that many consultants advise against this combination. They claim that a certain emotional distance is needed, that simply cannot be maintained when friends go into business together. However, I wouldn’t dream of having it any other way.

My business is my passion. It is the area in my life in which I spend most of my time, and even more importantly, it is where most of my energy is invested. Developing the Pantarei Approach is what occupies my mind, and my heart. It is what motivates me to get up in the mornings and start my day. Why wouldn’t I do this with the people I love? Being both friends and business partners allows exactly that. And our long-term friendship is an integral part of the foundation on which our school and community are built.

Our story

So how did it all start? Well, just like with any good friends, if you ask each of us individually, you would hear two very different stories. What we both agree on though, is that when I visited Berlin for the first time in 2001, Claudia, opened her door and hosted me for the duration of my 10-day stay. We were colleagues, both practicing the Grinberg Method at the time. It was summer, and we shared a magical time together. Almost against my own will, I fell in love with what the city had to offer and made a new friend.

From that moment on, things moved forward in a natural flow. I packed my things and moved from Israel to Berlin. Next in line was finding a new place to live, and opening a new center to work in. Claudia and I dreamed about having our own school, in which we would teach people to become somatic practitioners. And sure enough, we did. We built up a growing community of practitioners around us. A business. A vision. A life. We even shared an apartment.

Alongside our professional life, our friendship developed. We were curious about each other, and we learned from each other. Claudia liked to have her quiet in the mornings. I preferred a good conversation to go with my morning coffee. Claudia liked to learn about a topic before she talked to people about it. I, on the other hand, would first ask and engage and then start my journey of learning. Claudia would add a spoon of honey to sweeten her morning coffee, whereas I liked my espresso untouched. Together we discovered our vision and how to bring it to life. We also discovered what a pleasure it was to sit on the sofa on the weekends to binge-watch good series on TV.

Of course, being long-term friends and business partners is a huge challenge. But a challenge that is definitely worth taking. Just like any other relationship, we argued, we pushed each other’s buttons, we got hurt, and we needed to deal with unexpected problems. However, our resolve is strong and we always found our way back to each other and our joint vision. It is not an easy path, but I wouldn’t change a thing about it.

Our friendship and the approach

I believe that a significant part of the development of the Pantarei Approach, and what it stands for, is a result of our long-term friendship. As two women who are both business partners and friends, we learned to listen to each other, to respect each other’s individual abilities, and to find how our unique way of perceiving the same situation can lead us to taking better decisions.

3 Insights about combining friendship and a business

Here are 3 insights I want to share with those of you who are both business partners and friends, or with those of you who share a project you’re passionate about, with your friends:

1. Choose your partner well

I know that it is obvious, but let me say it again. It is your choice. Take your time to think about the values that are most important to you, and see if they are shared. In my case, I felt as if the choice was almost made for me, as life naturally pushed Claudia and me towards each other. At the start, I didn’t give it much thought. However, it felt right. Since that day though, I have chosen Claudia to be my partner on this adventure over and over again. Just like every achievement, every crisis was a moment of choice. Every smile and every tear was a reason. Remember that it is your choice. A choice for each of you to clarify over and over again. If possible, choose it every morning anew. Your reasons might change over the years; mine most definitely did. However, the choice was always there.

2. Take space. And give space

Your partner is different from you in every way. And herein lies the strength of your partnership. Don’t try to change your partner to be more like you. Similarly, don’t try and change to be more like them. Listen to what they have to say. Ask questions. Be interested in them and in their opinions and points of view. Encourage your partner to express themselves through the work they are responsible for, and through the way in which they express their responsibilities. However, do the same for yourself. Take up space. Find what you like about the business; develop your own interests, and your own responsibilities. Listen to your heart and your need for expression. Your business is a playground in which you can both express yourselves, way beyond what you might ever have believed.

3. Put your friendship above everything else

You are in it together, and your friendship should form the basis for your business. Not the other way around. It took a long time to realize that when we invest in our friendship, that is, when we take care of each other, our professional vision is impacted. Over the years, many consultants told us that we need to have clear agenda laid out for every meeting, no matter how we were feeling. With time we realized that when we feel good and there is a good flow between us, we can use our time to the fullest. Remember to be a friend first and foremost, and trust that it will positively impact your business.

 

Being both friends and business partners is a challenge, but one that is definitely worthwhile. On a very practical note, make sure to have a legal contract between you. Remember that even many marriages that start out as what seems like matches made in heaven, end. Having a legal contract creates a clear framework for both of you. And in the unfortunate event of either of you choosing to pursue different goals (see point number 1), you’ll have a clear framework that would allow you to move forward in the best way possible.

For us, working together turned out to be the best decision we could have made. We enjoy developing the Pantarei Approach together, as well as keeping our individual interests alive. Each of us is different, and our partnership has its own unique flavor to it. We feel lucky that in recent years more people have joined us in our business as well as in friendship.

There are many more things I could share about this topic, so feel free to ask me about whatever leaves you curious.

 

Written by Vered Manasse