To Face What We Feel

Emotions move us. Naturally, they are not the only force that drives us, yet they are strong and ever present, like an engine that never stops running. During times like these, many of us are doing our best to face what we feel.

What we feel can range anywhere from great frustration or worry, to a great sense of joy or trust. It can be that we get upset and annoyed by the tiniest detail, or that we suddenly feel absolutely calm, even when the world around us seems to be changing completely from one minute to the next.

In our online lesson that we taught earlier last week, we discussed 3 questions with our community of students and practitioners of the Pantarei Approach. Answering each of them, or at least giving each one some time, allowed us to face what we feel in a better way; to own it, to understand it, and as a result, to direct our emotions in a clearer way.

What do you feel?

This was our first question. To face what we feel starts naturally within us. Do you feel great sadness and worry? Are you happy, even without a specific cause? Do you feel bored, anxious or interested, or even focused? Whatever it is that you feel, notice it, let it be, and give it the space it needs.

If you can, tell someone about it. Better yet, ask them the question: what do you feel? Let them talk, think and connect to their feelings. Try to listen without judgement or the wish for them to feel something else. Allow the space for all emotions to be, and give them time.

From our experience, people rarely feel only one thing at any given point in time and there is no one emotional color for what we feel. A mother can talk about how much she cannot stand for her children to continue being at home all day, every day for such long period of time. In the same breath, she will talk about how much love and pride she feels for them and how they are dealing with the situation. Contradictions are allowed in the world of emotions.

How are they feeling?

This was our second question. For us practitioners, it is second nature to notice others, and how they feel. But of course this is not exclusive to practitioners. We all feel each other all the time. If you think about the people who you feel closest to, we are sure that you know very well how they are feeling.

Notice them. Allow yourself to truly acknowledge what they are feeling. Are they worried during this time? Why? What do they do when they are worried? How does this affect you? Is there anything that you can do to help? Or maybe they are the ones who can affect you positively. When we want to face what we feel, we need to notice others around us as well.

When you talk to people, ask them not only about how they feel, but also how their children, their partners, their parents and family members, and their friends are doing. Sometimes it is much easier for people to connect to what they feel, through relating to others.

When a person thinks about how sad their partner feels these days, it allows them a moment to connect to their own feelings. When a person talks about how happy their child is at home right now, it might allow them a moment to connect to their own trust and love.

How do you feel humanity?

The coronavirus has clearly created a situation in which we can all feel just how connected we all are. It is not a struggle that is confined to any one country, and there are no sides. Our success in how to deal with the situation will be an international success. It will affect us all.

The efforts to keep ourselves healthy is a collective effort. It is not only about you and me, but about the elderly and the sick. It’s about the nurses and the doctors, the care-takers and teachers. Essentially, it is about everyone. It is about the planet and the earth. It is about our preset, our future and the generations to come.

To face what we feel these days, is also to connect to the bigger picture. To realize how we feel towards life, towards humanity, towards this planet. Those philosophical questions become very real and practical these days.

Sometimes it is this third question that actually connects us back to our core, to our hearts, and to the reasons we do what we do. It connects us to the reasons we love what we love, and to the realization that there is so much more to discover and expand into.

To allow ourselves the time to feel

Even if you are too busy to find some time to reflect more deeply during these days, perhaps because you are dealing with your own family, or you are out saving lives as a medical professional or other, find some moments in your day to notice how you feel. It could be in the moment before you fall asleep or it could be during your day’s work. Let your emotions have some space.

If you have an option of sharing your feelings with another person, do that. And by doing it, invite them to take a moment to focus on how they feel.

To face what we feel is a meaningful part of letting ourselves go through this period in a healthy way. It is a way for us to find our trust and clarity, and to allow others to do that as well.

Wishing everyone healthy times.

By Vered