Strawberries And Why Community Matters

Visiting the market in Jerusalem (Shuk Mahane Yehuda) is one of my favorite things to do whenever I am at my mother’s house. In exactly 314 steps from her front door, I find myself in the middle of a crowded, buzzing universe of its own where fruit, vegetable, meat, flowers, and fish are offered in abundance. Here it is clearly evident that community matters, and I am so lucky to be able to extend my sense of community to the people of this lovely neighborhood, whenever I am there.

Yesterday, a friend said he would be coming over to visit us that evening. I know that he loves strawberries, and so I hurried to the market to buy some of these juicy, red berries. This is not usually the season for them. However, even though Israel is a small country, it has many different climatic zones and a diverse topography. So, I was sure that I would find someone selling this most delicious fruit.

Strawberry shopping

The market never disappoints me, and in no time at all, I was inside one of my favorite fruit and vegetable stores. “Good morning to the Miss with the basket”, I heard the owner say. (This is what they call me every time I enter carrying my mother’s special and very recognizable green shopping basket.) “Good morning,” I answered, even though it was already 4 pm.  The strawberries were there on a shelf and I found myself staring at them. Red, beautiful, and yet, for some reason, not as tempting as I would expect.

“You are Bella’s daughter, aren’t you?” Someone from the back of the small shop called out to me. And before I even had the opportunity to answer, he handed me a box of strawberries that he had brought out from the back corner. “Take these”, he said. “They are special”. I happily accepted the red fruit he placed into my hands. They looked delicious.

Community matters, I thought to myself again while walking back home with my green basket, red strawberries, and a smile. Community matters, I continued to think, when, a moment later, somebody called out to warn me that my shoelaces were untied.

Different friendship circles

We all know how important it is to have good friends: those we can talk to regularly, those we can call when in need, those who know about our past and future plans. Nevertheless, it is also those people who we might not consider to be so close, who turn out to be very meaningful in our lives. These constitute the communities that surround us. They are the people who are somehow present, even in passing, and without them, life would not have the same taste.

The Pantarei community

Later that afternoon, Claudia and I gave an online lesson to the community of Pantarei practitioners from around the world. From the very moment in which all those faces I love so much started appearing on my screen, I felt how the space in my heart started expanding. I felt as if we were all standing together in my favorite market, and my task was to find the best strawberries I could, from the hidden corner in a store, and to share them with all who were present.

Within the Pantarei community, we obviously did not discuss the topic of strawberries, the market, or the neighborhood I was in. Instead, we discussed the option of giving our clients online sessions in these times of lockdown. We trained together and deepened our professional understanding of the work we do. However, I believe the idea is the same. We wish to give the best and most delicious strawberries to the people we appreciate and love.

Community matters. It contributes to our health and wellbeing. It gives us the sensation of safety and forms part of our identity and our sense of belonging. We need to be attentive to this, acknowledge its worth, and show our gratitude.

There are many different types of communities and our relationship with them is unique. Obviously, my relationship with the community of students and practitioners of the Pantarei Approach is very different from that of the people in the market. Yet, both influence and form part of my identity. Both give me strength. On some days, it would be the flower vendor from the market who would bring a smile to my face, while on another day, it could be an email I receive from a Pantarei practitioner proudly telling me about the transformative impact that their work has had on a particular client of theirs.

How to engage with the communities in your life

The communities you already belong to

Start by acknowledging the communities you already have in your life. If your first thought is that you don’t belong to any group of people, think again. We all form part of different communities. Start by thinking of the people you study with. Consider the people you meet while shopping; your neighbors, the people you share different activities with. You might even think about the people who share the same political opinions with you or share your views on how the COVID-19 situation should best be handled.

Dare to get involved

Notice the people who are part of those communities. Just like you, they would appreciate being noticed. It doesn’t have to be through a big and obvious token. A simple gesture, a kind word, or a smile goes a long way. You can show them you care by commenting on something they wrote on their social media pages, or by sending them a message. It can be by smiling at them and asking about their health. You might even like to share a nice box of strawberries with them. Dare to get involved, to show your presence and that you care. Community matters.

The communities we would love to be part of

You might feel that there are certain communities you wish to be a part of, but are not yet. For example, the wish to connect to people whose writing you love or people who live in a way that you appreciate. I often feel that way and love the sense of admiration that is awoken inside me. This strengthens my desire to follow a certain direction or ideal.

Take note of those people and communities, and consider what you love about them.

Sometimes you may think that certain people belong to a particular community. However, they might not identify as such. Acknowledge this, and enjoy getting to know the people you would like as friends.

Like most things, integrating into a community is a process

Becoming part of any group of people is a process. Some steps happen in a matter of seconds; just as quickly as the person from the market store recognized me as Bella’s daughter, and consequently gave me direct access to products reserved for friends and valued customers. At other times, it takes years to get a true sense of belonging.

If you enjoy the process, then you’ll enjoy the small steps along the way. Don’t rush it, or push towards it. Rather, do so mindfully. Get in touch. Express your presence and your wish. Allow yourself to love those people, and to appreciate what they bring to your life. Enjoy them, and let them know how much they are appreciated; how much community matters.

We are all part of a very big community

The coronavirus has taught us many things. One of our biggest lessons, in my opinion, is the understanding that we are all in this together. We are all part of the same situation, and we, therefore, need to care for each other.

Our actions matter and we depend on each other.

Why do you think that being a part of a community, matters?

Written by Vered Manasse