Social Distancing is the New Connecting

I remember reading an article at the end of 2019 about the most googled words, and I thought about the seemingly shallow direction that humanity had taken. Among the most popular, were words like “Disney Plus” and “Cameron Boyce”. Important per se, yet not within a greater context. These days, however, I feel how much I miss these kinds of conversations, and have the need to search for things to talk about that don’t revolve around the Coronavirus, social distancing, and the current challenging times we all face.

It is likely that google search words in 2020 will include things like coronavirus, disinfection, social distancing and anxiety. My entire profession as a Pantarei Approach co-founder and teacher, and my greatest passion in life, has to do with interacting, with bringing people to realize and connect to their own body, their own strengths, their own voice and their own resources. That is, everything that we aren’t able to practice these days.

The Power of Connection

I believe that it is this physicla connection that brings us to grow as a society, but 2020 has taught us differently. Distancing has become the new connecting. If you love your parents, don’t go to visit them. If you wish your grandparents to live longer, keep your distance. I see in my Facebook feed that people have started singing to their parents from the street. Grandchildren are waving hellos to their beloved grandmothers from far away. I see the term social distancing become the new connecting and expression of love.

It is amazing to witness how these new restrictions, somehow also bring a new kind of closeness between people. We call each other more often, we suddenly have time to notice all the people around us. We say hello, and look at the way people respond. We keep social distancing, but with it, we also keep and make our love grow.

Distance Relationships vs Social Distancing

When I try to think of an example from one of my clients who practiced something similar to social distancing, one example comes to my mind. She was a tall 30-year-old woman with piercing eyes. I loved her from the very first moment she entered my working room. Her voice was deep and there was a certain authority to it. She appeared so confident, yet here she was, wanting me to support her in dealing with the long-distance relationship she had with another woman in California.

The two women met when they both lived in Berlin, but because of work and visa limitations, my client’s partner needed to go back to LA. My client’s business, which she had worked so hard to develop, was based in Europe. She wasn’t used to feeling helpless but this was her experience with the situation. There was nothing she could do about it, and she knew that the next time they would see each other wouldn’t be until a few months later.

“I can’t stop thinking about her” she said. “We can’t be together physically, and if that wasn’t enough, the time-difference is simply unbearable.” Her eyes almost begged me to invent a solution both of us knew I didn’t have.

Creative ways to connect

Social distancing wasn’t a term I was aware of back then, and the reason for the distance between them was obviously very different from the one we all share today during the Coronavirus pandemic. I remember the many creative ways she learned to love her partner from far away. She learned to express her feelings in a different way; to use what the internet had to offer, to write postcards, and to find ways of making them both laugh and enjoy whatever the situation brought with it.

Reflecting on our sessions together, I believe that the main topic we worked on was trust. First and foremost, the trust my client had in herself. She came to realize that her love was real and to started to respect just how meaningful it was. Similarly, she could trust that her professional path was equally important for her at that time. There was trust that a solution would be found; trust, that even if she was unsure about how the relationship could grow, something would happen soon enough.

She was worried and scared, but in combination with trusting herself and her partner, and trusting the love between them, something new started to be experienced. It was that deep trust that allowed her to manage, even with her longing and her sensation of helplessness. It was that trust that allowed her to find her own ways to connect. Their social distancing was eventually able to strengthen the connection between them. They both realized that they could overcome the big challenges together. 

What do you Trust?

Naturally, our current situation, is nothing like that. We need to keep social distancing from everyone besides the people we live with. However, our connection doesn’t have to be left aside. We can be here for each other, we can help, we can give a hand, and we can express our love: to our parents, our grandparents, our family and friends. We can express our love to humanity itself.

We can all practice trust. First and foremost, in ourselves, in our ability to think, to choose, to take care of our own health, as well as the health of others. And then we can trust in life: it might be through our trust in the doctors that work tirelessly day in and day out; through our trust in the researches that are in a race against time to find a treatment; or it can be through trust in our friends and family.

Trust Heals

It gives us strength, as well as strength to those who we feel we can trust. I believe that just as like this client I worked with, it’s time for our trust to work extra hours. We all need to find our own trust; trust that we can get through this, trust in our resources and strengths, in our ability to cope, trust in our friends and our instincts, in the realization that even though we all practice social distancing, we are strong. As a society, perhaps we are stronger than ever before.

Many people are offering help and support during these days. Part of our trust at this time is in the society we live in. Let people know what you are struggling with. They might have a solution, provide an empathetic ear, or they might even become partners in a thinking process that could lead towards new and creative directions.

Let’s find our way as individuals as well as a community to make social distancing, a new connecting; a new way of trusting each other and by doing that, strengthen ourselves and others.

Where are you placing your trust during these times?

By Vered