How to Live Well in your Unique Emotional World

Emotions are a big factor when we think about our quality of life. All of us can easily imagine a person who has it all, yet still feels miserable, or a person who has nothing, but still has a smile on their face and great optimism about what they do have. We know people who are loved by many and still feel lonely and others who live alone in a faraway village and feel a strong sense of belonging.

As practitioners, we listen and we are tuned in to the emotional experience of the client, as this is an integral part of every session and personal development. Having a profession that uses touch, which then allows the process to happen through an experience; means that there is a place and time for the emotions of the client to be experienced, digested and included in whatever personal goals the client has.

Emotions are incredibly important for practitioners – in navigating sessions and processes with clients, they add to a purposeful life, that is rich and fulfilling. Obviously, some people need help to quieten their emotions so they can function better in life, and will seek help beyond sessions – a process cannot be the only answer to their emotional challenges.

Here are a few things I have learned and discovered through the sessions I give to clients.

Emotions Connect

They connect us to ourselves; to what we want and what we don’t want, to our values, our purpose, or to the actions we would like to take. They connect us also to our surroundings; when we ‘feel’ we feel in relation to the situation we are in, the people we are in touch with, the project we are involved in, the environment we live in. Feelings are not only an internal thing, but they are a response quite often to the life situation we are experiencing as we feel other people, projects, nature, and processes. They let us notice that we’re not isolated from life around us.

As practitioners, any session also has its own emotional aspect, where new connections can be created between the client’s feelings and desires, and their life situation and surroundings.

We Need All the Range of Emotions in Our Life

Often in modern life, we find ourselves racing towards the next achievement, as well as toward a certain desired feeling. The pressure to feel in a certain way also means to try and not feel what we might call ‘negative feelings’.

As practitioner, I would rather teach my clients how to better deal with emotions such as anger, frustration or envy rather than pushing them away. I find it difficult to imagine a life where we can love things or people and not feel sadness or longing. A world where we want to achieve things, yet don’t feel that emotional pain that comes with failing sometimes, Or a world where frustration is never the fuel for positive change. Allowing all the emotions to be felt, giving them space whilst leading our life delivers to a fulfilling and purposeful experience. Letting emotions be felt does not mean letting them control us, but rather owning them as part of our life.

Emotions Change Constantly

There are certain emotions and feelings which we like to constantly have in our life – be they joy, excitement, happiness, safety and acceptance, calmness or love. But there are others we struggle a bit more with – frustration, anger, disappointment, fear or guilt. All emotions are transient, however they are usually being felt as a result of something triggering them – either externally or from within.

If we are not afraid of those feelings and we can find a way to embrace them, magically they transform. Just like water, they will look for a pathway to move through. If we allow the space of emotions to be, we let ourselves listen to them and reveal their secrets to us, rather than fighting them, there is a good chance for the feeling to naturally change and transform to another feeling or to a certain action.

Emotions Can be Accompanied with Clarity

It is great to feel, and to be emotionally connected. It is a good feeling to notice our emotional intelligence, but feelings need more than just to be felt. They have a certain direction, that when we listen to and add our clarity, can lead us toward our desired path. Just like water flows in a certain direction, according to the landscape it flows through, our clarity might help us notice what our emotions ask us to do.

Practitioners of the Pantarei Approach should not only listen to the feelings of their clients, but also support them to become clearer on the direction they wish to lead those feelings to. A person can feel that they cannot stand their job anymore, but just by creating further clarity, realize that they are only frustrated by a specific part of it they can change. When emotions and clarity work together, we can act in the best way for ourselves and others around us.

Feeling Emotions is Complex

The experience of emotions has many shades and depths that can be experienced simultaneously. We almost always feel more than one thing at the time. Emotions can be felt together with all of their complexity and if we listen to them, we would also notice the clarity that starts to form, directing them to the appropriate action.

In the previous example, the client noticed that they didn’t only feel frustration, but also – care, confusion and passion. The way they felt, also emphasized their values and goals, their need for financial security, their desire to not disappoint their partner at home, and the planning of their professional future. All of these in combination allowed the client to act while still give space to what they felt.

Emotions are a huge part of our life, and learning to own them, direct them and harness their power for positive growth and change, is a fascinating and very rewarding part of the learning process.

By Vered Manasse