When Struggle Becomes a Door: A Mother, a Son, and the Space Where Strength Returns

How giving space to all parts of ourselves can turn a crisis into clarity, courage, and connection.

Struggles as a doorway to change

My client arrived with a severe, worried expression. Children from her son’s class had been bullying him, and she only began to understand the situation when her son suddenly became more aggressive at home. When she offered him space, he finally shared what had been happening. He was confused and hurt because the same kids who bullied him were also his closest friends. It was clear to my client that a line had been crossed, and she needed to step in.

Old Pain Rising in a New Moment

We had touched on similar themes before. In earlier sessions, we explored the unfairness my client experienced in her own school years. She had suffered violence as a child, and one of her deepest frustrations was that nobody listened to her and change seemed impossible. Now, her son’s story awakened the echoes of her own past and brought forward emotions she had never fully had space for.

Seeing More Than the Struggle

During this session, we acknowledged her pain in witnessing her son’s struggle, but also the beauty of how she responded as a parent. She had given him space, trusted him, and listened deeply. Together, we sensed that she was not helpless. Her strength was present, even if overshadowed by fear and sadness. I reminded her how much she believes in communication and how strongly she feels that a difficult situation can become meaningful when the heart stays open.

Giving Space to All Parts of Herself

During the hands-on part of the session, I encouraged her to breathe and make space for everything she felt. The echoes from her past and the fresh emotions connected to her son met in the same place. Her tears found room, and the old helplessness surfaced. But so did her clarity, her need to act, her ability to think, and her sense of what was right. Her love for her son, her empathy, and her wish to create understanding for everyone involved all came to the surface.
In Pantarei’s work, nothing needs to be pushed away. When every part of us receives space, even the most painful ones, the qualities we need often rise naturally.

From Crisis to Change

A few days later, she wrote me an email describing the steps she had taken. She involved parents, teachers, social workers, and the school director. She not only protected her son but also created clarity for the entire class about violence, friendships, and communication. By doing so, she transformed a crisis for her son and, at the same time, something in herself. She completed a part of her own story that had remained open since childhood.

What Pantarei Offers

In any Pantarei Approach process, we meet the person who comes to us. Even when clients arrive with trauma, physical conditions, pressure, or burnout, our aim is not to treat symptoms. We accompany them in reconnecting to the parts of themselves that can guide them through their lives.

Struggles can be painful, confusing, or overwhelming, but they can also become doors. When we give space to everything that arises and allow all parts of ourselves to be present, transformation becomes possible.

Discover how a Pantarei session can support you. Find a practitioner here. And if you feel called to give space to others in this way, learn more about our Practitioner Pantarei Approach Training Program.