On Empathy as Foundation for Therapeutic Interactions
“We are wired to connect”, Says Daniel Goleman in his ‘Social Intelligence’. It is in our very nature that our interactions with others also have far reaching consequences that ripple through our being and our health. Being attentive to another person we loop emotionally and create a strong empathic bond when our attention and emotions create that precious connection.
In ‘The Descent of Man’, Darwin describes that primal empathy at the core of our cultural understanding of what compassion truly is. Psychologist Paul Ekman emphatically calls it, ‘the survival of the kindest’, as for him empathy’s value appears to run at the core of our survival as a species. It lubricates our sociability allowing us to reach out and be reached in return.
The Empathic Space
Nowhere is that more true, than in a therapeutic exchange, where to be truly effective, empathy in all its aspects must be at the heart of the interaction. Therapist Dean Juhan puts both the question and the challenge forward, asking “why should just a few sessions have such a dramatic effect?” Within a supportive and an empathic space, built with care and trust, both the practitioner and the client can share a space for their experience. This is what actually allows the real work to be done – the issues can be exposed and the touch allowed to find its natural flow and proper context.
To Listen, To Feel, To Understand
The core of the Pantarei Approach revolves around empathy. It is that very ability to feel with others, to listen to their words and to sense beyond them. Being there with a full attentive presence attuned to read their non-verbal signals and build that empathic exchange into our communication. Our work is structured around the ability to listen and understand the other.
When we feel heard and understood we gain clarity of our own thoughts, our own feelings, our own needs and intentions, as they are reflected back to us. In the interaction, given the time and the space it needs, that much needed clarity has the best conditions to naturally unfold as if magically all by itself.
On that basis of empathic exchange, we are guided in our work with touch. Listening and aligning our work with the body, empathy allows that non-verbal dance with its highly effective exchange to reach deeper than words. With the synchronicity that is created through this exchange we can reach the depth needed also in a relatively short span of time.