How to Cope with Uncertainty

How can it be that no-one prepared us for the challenges that we have had to face this year? How is it that no fortune teller ever knocked on our doors to make sure we knew what to expect? How to cope with uncertainty has certainly become the question that has marked 2020.

Until just 10 months ago we were innocently planning and organizing ourselves for the next few years. We had envisaged having another Pantarei school in the US and had predicted that our hands-on teaching would grow and expand even further than ever before. We felt blessed by the beautiful community of Pantarei practitioners and were happily planning many enriching activities, that we could offer in-person and hands-on.

Yes, 2020 has surprised us in so many ways. And above all, it is teaching us the art of how to cope with uncertainty.

Do you like uncertainty?

Well, most people that we know dislike the experience of not knowing. We already want to know who is going to be the next football champions, who is going to be the next president, and what the weather will be like over the weekend.

We also want to know more personal things. We wish to know if our current partner is the one we will be happy in love with forever after. If we are single, we would like to know if and when we will meet that someone special. We would like to know if our professional decisions are the correct ones that will lead us toward our desired goals. We even pay money for consultations in order to build a more “certain” future. And even if we are skeptical about it, we get excited by someone telling us what the stars and planetary alignments have to say about our personal path.

We, just like anyone else are looking for answers in life. We do this, even though we know that a certain amount of uncertainty is part of what makes life so interesting and exciting.

Just imagine knowing everything in advance

It is likely that we can end this paragraph with the title. It says it all. How boring. If we knew how our date would turn out, or how the day was going to be. If we already knew where every decision would lead, life would certainly be dull.

Sometimes it is tempting to think that we might be richer, healthier and that life might be less painful. Nevertheless, no thank you. We would much rather learn how to cope with uncertainty.

How can we deal with uncertainty?

The uncertainly in 2020 is in abundance. We all know that we cannot control everything. In fact, we are unable to control most things in life. However, this year shown this to us in the most impressive way. Hasn’t it?

It is clear that the leading figures of each country feel uncertain themselves. Their decisions, rules, and recommendations are changing almost weekly. On one day children can go back to school. On the next, they should stay at home. On one day we believe that we can travel and suddenly the borders close and are stuck.

All of our plans are in motion and so are we.

Uncertainty is a part of any process of transformation

In our practice as Pantarei practitioners, it is clear for us that every process of transformation goes through a period of uncertainty.

What do we mean? Imagine a woman who is dissatisfied with her relationship. Let’s say that she is in her late 30s. She has a successful career, but she wishes to have a family. Logically, we all know that she has plenty of options in our modern world. However, emotionally, she still struggles with the uncertainty of her situation.

She is not sure if she wants to work on the relationship with her partner and broach the subject of having a family together or, instead, start afresh. There are obviously many more options that she would need to consider. As practitioners, it is clear that part of realizing what she really wants can only happen by entering into the space of uncertainty.

We would accompany her in her exploration, allowing her to ask the most relevant questions. And we would support her in that space of uncertainty until she is able to feel her inner strength and resources, and thereby choose the direction that resonates most with her.

Uncertainty and letting go

When we want a change to take place, we need to invite in a certain level of uncertainty. In fact, every time we allow ourselves to let go of something, we already know that we will have to learn how to cope with uncertainty. This is just as relevant when letting go of a thought or belief, as it is with a profession or the place where we live.

The biggest challenge of 2020 is that we weren’t the ones who chose to let go. It was the circumstances that forced us to do so. We weren’t the ones who decided to shift more of our work online. However, we needed to accept the situation and find the best way in which to deal with it.

In a Pantarei session, we have a safe setting in which to let go. And move through the feelings of uncertainty, toward our goal. Yet, if we chose this same attitude; if we manage to create a feeling of safety within us, we can also find beauty in the experience of uncertainly. We can learn to cope with uncertainly, let go of our expectations, and choose our own way. This can become a truly transformative process, in which we are able to face parts of ourselves that we would not otherwise need to face. Similarly, we get to develop, grow, and take courageous steps, we would otherwise not dare to take.

Uncertainty and choice

One of the reasons that the feeling of uncertainty can be empowering during Pantarei sessions, is that it comes out of choice. We choose to let go of something we believe to know, and instead, allow ourselves not to know. The same goes for when we move to a new country or home. And also when we start a new relationship. Safety is also a significant part of what allows us to invite in uncertainty. In fact, when we feel safe enough, we might even enjoy getting lost along the way.

2020 and the uncertainty we all face

When we think about the reality we all face in 2020, we can say that these two elements: safety and the feeling of control, are missing for many of us. We never chose it, and many of us don’t feel safe, whether financially, socially, or personally with regards to our health. What if we manage to create a sensation of choice and safety? Would that change our experience?

We still have so much choice in the matter

In the somatic sessions we give, it is quite clear that a choice is something people do not always have. Our job situation, our health condition, our life status, or our relationship may change.

Even so, we still have so much choice. We can choose how we respond to what happens. And we can choose our focus and our priorities. We can choose how to relate to our values. And how to relate to others. Most importantly, we can choose to stay present while our situation changes.

Staying present in times of change

From a Pantarei point of view, our sense of safety exists in our ability to experience our own existence and presence.  We can breathe deeply to fill our lungs, expand, move, and feel who we are. We can then also connect to the core of who we are. To our heart, to our wishes, to our knowledge of our own life.

Our center is here

We might still not like the feeling of uncertainty. And will surely need to adapt and learn how to cope with uncertainty. But if we realize that our center is right here, in our own body and soul, we might be able to let go more easily. We might still sometimes feel overwhelmed by life. Yet we will be able to perceive it without losing the connection to ourselves.

The beauty of our individuality

When you think of someone dear to you, what would be your number one advice to them, in how they can best deal with the sensation of uncertainty?

What do you need in order to deal with that sensation? What would allow you to find your own choice in it? What would allow you to experience the feeling of safety?

Realize the uncertainty all around you, and breathe. Feel your own heart and connect to your deepest wish.

Written by Claudia Glowik & Vered Manasse