The Key for Change Lies In Your Uniqueness

We are all born with unique qualities and strengths. And if we learn to recognize and tap into them, they can become our greatest resource.

In the Pantarei Approach we relate to the unique qualities and strengths in people as the key for change. In our practitioner training course, we teach our students how they can make this key accessible to their clients. Practitioners are taught to listen to and identify their clients’ unique qualities, and help them use these when dealing with any challenge. Just like no two people are alike, the way we deal with our challenges is unique to us. As such, the better we are able to listen to our clients, the better we will be able to connect them to their inner resources.

Can you remember a moment in which someone close to you truly listened? Do you remember how it made you feel? Many times, the mere act of listening, beyond what is said in words, opens up new perspectives and opportunities.

This coming Sunday at 5pm, Berlin time, I have been invited as a guest speaker at this year’s free online Embodiment Conference. The conference itself runs from the 14^th to the 25^th of October, and has already attracted more than 400 000 participants. All have registered to engage in this incredible platform of knowledge, with the purpose of connecting people to their body and inner resources. I am very excited to be part of this forum and have enjoyed further exploring the content of my presentation.

Do you realize that you are unique?

This is the first question, each of us needs to answer when we wish to connect to our resources. What is it that makes me different from others, and how can I use this to live a more fulfilled life? We often forget about, or are simply not attentive to what makes us unique. We believe that everyone is capable of feeling or behaving in a similar way. I often hear my own clients say: “But surely everyone can be kind, or decisive, or loyal…It’s not only me.”

It is so easy to dismiss just how unique we are, especially as many of the things that make us unique, are things we take for granted. We tend to think that we have always been like this, or that we didn’t actually need to work all that hard to achieve something. On the other hand, when we are truly connected to our qualities as the powerful resources they are, we know that they develop with time and become richer with every challenge that life presents us.  

When we simply think about our own body, we so often forget that it is one of a kind. Our finger print is unlike any other, just as the iris of our eye is unique. Our muscles, our movements, and even our posture are ours. We so often spend our time comparing ourselves to how we believe we should be. We then forget to appreciate ourselves, our body and our individuality. And we forget that there is no one else quite like us. We all love different things, we all love in different ways, and our hearts beat in their own rhythm. From all the people who live on this earth there is only one person who is you. And yet, we still question if we are special enough.

If you have a hard time coming up with some qualities that are unique to you, think about what someone who loves you would say about you. The people around you, especially those who are closest to you, will easily recognize the qualities they most appreciate about you. They will likely find it easy to identify your strengths and what you enjoy expressing.

Your qualities as your superpowers

In order to turn our uniqueness into a resource, we need to give our qualities some space and recognition. This is especially true if we not only want to understand them as theoretical constructs, but to truly connect to them. Clarity is a good start. However, what will make the experience last even longer, is to give our uniqueness some more space in our body and in ourselves

You can do this in the following way: take a moment to think of one, or even all, of the qualities that you have identified in yourself. Now let your body move, and expand. Let yourself take up space. Stretch to the side, move your legs, breathe in, in the deepest way possible. Let your body and soul realize how happy you are when you let yourself acknowledge your true abilities and qualities. Your true unique self.

Feel how taking space to be who you are is such a pleasurable experience. And know that it will probably be inspiring to the people around you. Realize how these qualities of yours might not serve you in every situation in life, but will definitely strengthen your confidence and nourish your soul. They will be there to rely on at all times. Invite yourself in, to embrace your qualities, to be aware of them, to realize them – for yourself and the world around you.

Our uniqueness can be explored for the rest of our lives

If you feel at all strengthened by this exercise, you are already getting a taste of your qualities and the way in which your unique traits can nourish you, leading to living life more in line with your wishes.

It is great to remember that our uniqueness is not limited in its number of qualities. It can consist of many different abilities, strengths and traits. And it grows with us with each and every challenge we go through. Exploring these resources makes us grow and develop.

Pantarei practitioners accompany their clients and support them to connect to who they are; to their uniqueness. They help them acknowledge that they are one of a kind. And that, by using their own resources, they can navigate their life in the direction of their choice.

Clients who come for sessions, often ask to change something within them. An unwanted habit, a certain sensation, or a behavioral change to improve something in their relationship. Pantarei practitioners are trained to listen beyond the problem. They help their clients pay attention to what is behind it. That is, to the quality, the ability, the wish.

For example, a woman who feels that she always has to say yes to taking on different work projects and relates to this as a problem. In a session she might realize that this behavior shows how curious she is, how invested she is in her profession, and how much she likes what she does. She will obviously need to learn how to handle her workload better, but her attitude towards it would change as soon as she sees it as part of her qualities and resources. What she does to address the issue of her workload will consequently be different.

A society of diversity

I dream to live in a society in which people acknowledge their uniqueness. And by doing so, we would all contribute to each other far more.

I invite you to explore your uniqueness, and to continuously encourage others to realize that which makes them unique. Point it out for them. Be part of a lively society in which diversity has space.

If you like what you read and you would like to deepen your experience with this topic, join me on Sunday for my workshop at the Embodiment Conference. I so look forward to giving more space to our uniqueness.

Written by Vered Manasse