Your Uniqueness. Your Voice

Don’t you just love it when you turn on the radio and your favorite song begins to play? Have you ever thought about how amazing it is that you can instantly identify your favorite singer’s voice even when they are singing a new song you’ve never heard before?

Your voice sets you apart from everyone else in the world. Like our fingerprints, we each have a voice that reveals our individuality and uniqueness. Have you considered what that means for you?

Your differences are what will allow to you connect with others

I decided to teach an advanced course about the voice to certified Pantarei practitioners because I believe that one of the core elements of being an effective practitioner is having a lifelong commitment to developing our ability to acknowledge and honor our own voice and the voices of our clients, family, friends, and community. Many of my clients express a deep yearning to fit in, and I can easily recognize this wish in myself. When I ask myself or others for the motivation behind this wish, it usually leads us to the fact that we simply want to connect with others, we want to belong, and we somehow believe that being like ‘them’ is the best way to do it.

Imagine a world in which we all have the same voice

But just imagine for a second what life would be like if everyone had the same voice. We would lose the richness in music and song. Gone would be the ability to recognize each other through our voices, and to hear the nuances in our expression, tone, and mood.

Your loved ones would sound just like strangers on the street. And people would call you over the phone, and you would only recognize them by reading their names on your screen.

To connect is to value the uniqueness of others

In my last blog article, I tackled the subject of how self-development shouldn’t only be about the Self. The Pantarei Approach in terms of self-development is about who you are AND about the impact you have on your surroundings, the people you love, and the world you live in.

Recognizing people’s individuality in their voices is one way of witnessing their unique colors and through this, we connect to ourselves, our surroundings, and the people around us.

Your voice is about belonging

John, a client of mine, has struggled since childhood with the sensation of not fitting in; feeling unseen and unheard. If you ever met him, you would easily imagine that he has it all: he has an active social life, is financially stable, is in a good relationship, and has two healthy children he adores.

However, throughout his life, John has felt unseen, even by those closest to him. He has constantly felt like he was in the ‘wrong’, so much so, that his wish to fit in got him chasing after the ‘perfect’ version of himself.

I am sure that some of you know the feeling of trying to mold yourself into someone you think others want you to be, just so you can feel like you belong. You might have even gone so far as not to recognize yourself anymore.

Belonging begins with showing your unique colors

You can only let people connect to you when they get to see the unique person you are. When I shared this concept with John he laughed and said that he understood this in theory but had no idea how to embrace who he was anymore. At this point, I suggested that we move to the hands-on part of our Pantarei session. As a practitioner, I communicate directly with my client through touch, as well as the use of my voice.

Every Wednesday John’s family gets together to discuss their plans for the weekend. John revealed that his ideas never reach the top of the list unless he becomes loud and shows his frustration. In this session, we explored how alone and unheard this left John feeling. I worked on John’s throat, and chest. Through my hands, I engaged with the rise and fall of his breath. We explored his physical experience and I invited John to be present and conscious of his body.

The gift of exploring your voice

“What would you like to tell your family if they could hear you now?” I asked. There was a lot of silence during the session, as it was challenging for him to answer. My touch guided John to experience the connection between his throat and his ability to freely express himself. I encouraged him to create sounds. It was clear to me that John’s fear of being unloved and his longing for connection were strong. I knew this desire started from a very young age, yet it continued to show up in John’s experience of himself and it manifest in his struggle to express his needs and wishes. He told me how afraid he was of being misunderstood and unloved.

At the end of the session, John shared the following: “I’m still not completely sure who I am,” he said, “but I feel more optimistic and actually curious.” His voice was gentle and decisive, caring, yet strong, and filled with love.

When John came to our next session, he shared the discussions he had had with his partner and children. He had tried to give them the same attention and curiosity he had received in his Pantarei Session with me. He showed up to these conversations with more curiosity, in order to know his family better and truly hear each person’s unique voice. John admitted that some of the conversations were challenging but they brought out more truth and understanding. By listening deeply, John found that he was more able to express himself openly and he felt more connected and seen.

Be who you are. Express your voice

Showing up fully can start by getting to know your voice. When you speak with your true voice, sharing your thoughts, feelings, and values, you allow others to identify with your unique qualities and you invite them in to connect.

For Pantarei Approach practitioners it is imperative that we remain curious about our own voice and those of every person we engage with. Who are we in every phase of our lives and what roles do we choose to take on? What do we really want and why do we want what we want? What are we afraid of and what are we passionate about? By developing this genuine interest we begin to recognize the unique landscape of our own voices and those of our family, community, and clients. And this contributes to making the world a more authentic, empowered, and empathetic place to live in. True transformation does not come from conforming to a socially constructed ideal. True transformation comes from being who we are and allowing others to do the same.

Try this if you are new to The Pantarei Approach and don’t yet have a practitioner

You can begin this process by showing up for yourself. Take a few moments. Check-in with your body. Begin to move your head and neck, move your arms, and stretch. Feel your chest and throat. Now think of something you want to communicate to someone special in your life. Feel how much you care about this person. Place one hand on your throat and one on your chest, and feel your love even if that love is wrapped up in some fear of being misunderstood. Move your hands over your throat, neck, and chest. Allow yourself to engage your vocal cords however you wish. Speak, moan, sing, yell. Do whatever feels right for you at this moment. Notice if you feel more energy in these parts of your body.

Tune in to how you feel. Do you have more trust in yourself, your voice, and your body? Before ending this practice take a few deep breaths and allow yourself a moment to experience your body and emotions from this place of curiosity and non-judgment. There is no pressure to communicate with others but notice what this simple practice has provoked in you. Then, take time during your day to pay attention to the people in your life. Notice how they are unique in their communication, the use of their voice, and their actions. Allow this empathic curiosity to impact your own sense of belonging.

Join Me for an Advanced Workshop

If you are a certified Pantarei Approach practitioner come along to the advanced course on Finding Your Voice, that I will be teaching from the 19th to the 21st of June 2023. In this 3-day course, you will explore the area of the throat and how it forms the bridge between our hearts and heads. The emphasis will be on the voice and facilitating uniqueness through verbal expression. You will get to see various demonstrations. We will discuss how to connect physical symptoms to our expression or lack thereof, and how to support the healing processes of our clients from the Pantarei point of view.

There will be plenty of opportunities to practice, as well as to explore topics related to verbal- and self-expression. The course will also cover how to use your own voice as a practitioner in sessions: enhancing your range while talking, singing, humming, and/or being in silence, and much much more. I hope to see you there.

Written by Claudia Glowik, Co-founder of the Pantarei Approach