Friendship and Self-Development

Much of our happiness, and, let’s admit it, also much of our sorrow, is related to our friends and the people that we are close to. And since I’m sure we can all agree that friendship is essential to our wellbeing, we feel inspired to celebrate tomorrow’s International Best Friends Day.

“Friendship is one of the most important experiences, and Pantarei has deepened my relationships,” Pantarei practitioner, Malin Mohr, recently wrote to us. We couldn’t be happier to know that in addition to being a profession, Pantarei has supported the value and development of friendships for practitioners and clients alike. Everyone needs people to talk to, to share the good times and the bad. We can’t even begin to imagine a life without people to laugh and share with; to support and be supported by when times get tough.

It doesn’t matter how many friends you have. What matters is that you can count on them, as they can on you.

What does friendship mean to you?

When we asked our community members what friendship means to them, many said that friends are the people who see and appreciate us beyond a particular moment or situation in time. They are the people who believe in us and remind us of who we truly are.

Michael Gollmer said: “Friendship does not mean to share the same mindset. Friendship means being fully yourself in the presence of someone who appreciates it and vice versa.”

But why is Friendship important in the Pantarei Approach?

In some respects, a practitioner may act in a similar way to how a friend might act. Pantarei practitioners are curious about their clients and enjoy exploring the uniqueness inherent in every person that comes to them for sessions.

We all know how often our self-criticism and lack of confidence can get in the way of our learning and progress. But no matter how bad a day we might have; no matter how laden it is with guilt and shame, it is our friends and our practitioners who can see us beyond our challenges and the difficulties we are experiencing at any given moment.

When a practitioner, just like a good friend, perceives all of who their client is, the client’s perception of themselves expands, opening up many more options in life.

Next time you feel limited, at a loss of what to do, or you find it challenging to love yourself, remember how much your friends appreciate and value you. When you do that, you automatically strengthen your relationship with your friends and with yourself.

Being best friends with ourselves

“Pantarei made it possible to deepen my friendships on many levels, but it changed my relationship with myself and allowed me to become best friends with myself,” said Sophie Hauck.

Similarly, Lena Zinser stated: “Pantarei teaches me how to be my best friend, befriend my body and all of what I am. It teaches me to hold who I’ve been, who I am, and who I will become. It’s like coming home to myself physically, emotionally, and spiritually”.

We can not replace friends by being on our own, but by seeing ourselves through the eyes of our friends, we too can see all the beauty that lies within.

Have you ever thought about further developing the relationship you have with yourself? What would happen if you embraced all parts of who you are, including the ones you consider less desirable, just as you would when meeting a close friend?

Friendship is not limited

Don’t you ever find it striking that friendships don’t have to be limited by age, gender, life experience, belief systems, distance, time, or space?

We believe that the willingness to meet someone and see them for who they are, beyond their ‘beauty’ and their ‘flaws’, the great and the not so great, is such a gift. It is a gift to acknowledge the differences between us and, rather than be threatened by them, see them as options, opportunities, and additions to the colors of life.

Joana Marcus wrote: “I love it when we understand each other with and without words. And when misunderstandings, uncomfortable feelings, and conversations are allowed and possible. My friends are also my teachers, mirrors, and inspirators. And what is also important in a friendship for me is that we allow each other to change.”

In the Pantarei Approach, we emphasize how each person is unique. People are a conglomerate of different qualities, abilities, feelings, and ways of being and can grow throughout their lives to become more of the person they naturally are.

When we genuinely embody our uniqueness, the need to be like others and compare ourselves loses its hold on us. The possibilities to learn, be inspired, be motivated, and be helped become endless.

Why Friendship is vital in the Pantarei Training Program

The atmosphere of learning in our classroom and the interaction between our students are often described as blissful. Our space is one of safety, in which we can all be ourselves, authentic, and valued for who we are.

Sophie Hauck also added: “Friendship is for me to have a safe space with each other for fully being ourselves and to share things not only with words”. Others practitioners and students also mentioned the sensation of being at home and having a sense of belonging.

“Comparing falls much more away because I can see my uniqueness and the uniqueness of my friends so much clearer,” Joana Marcus pointed out.

Because we train to meet each other with open hearts, a sense of curiosity, and the space in which to be, friendships seem to blossom. We learn so much in such a short amount of time. We connect so quickly and profoundly – everything seems to be more intense – and possible again.

Pantarei community: A community of friends as well as colleagues

We feel so lucky to realize that the Pantarei community is also a community of friends: our friends and their network of friends. Friends that encourage each other to express themselves, and to experience life according to their own values and ideals.

We invite you to celebrate this day of friendship in any way that suits you. Meet up with your friends. Write to them, tag them, and express your love for them. Expand your friendship toward yourself and your community and tap into the unlimited gifts that friendship can offer.

We would be curious to know what Friendship is for you. Share your thoughts on the topic with us in the comments section, below.

 

 

Written by Claudia Glowik