A Partnership Between Women can be a Problem, People Say

International Women’s Day is going to be celebrated in just two days’ time, and we thought that it would be a good opportunity to look at our own partnership as the two female co-founders of the Pantarei Approach. We, Claudia and Vered, consider our partnership to be a blessing, and this has a lot to do with the approach that we have developed. A partnership between women can be a problem, people say. For us, our partnership has been a gift, and we treat it as such.

Two female co-founders

From the very beginning, we knew that establishing the Pantarei Approach as a team of two would be significant. We just couldn’t imagine at the time how important it would become. What we knew in 2016, when the approach was newly founded, was that this somatic approach would be a place in which both our voices could be expressed.

In 2016 we had already known each other for 15 years, and had worked together for many years, teaching a different somatic method. We knew each other’s strengths, just as we knew each other’s sensitive areas. We knew that when we were in a good flow, as individuals as well as in a team, we could achieve so much in a  very short time. A partnership between women can be a problem, people say. For us, it has become a treasure.

When the Pantarei approach was first established, we each had around 25 years of experience as somatic practitioners. We quickly discovered that we shared similar observations about what made for a good session. We shared similar ideas about how teaching others can be respectful, as well as powerful. And what were the things we valued most?

Healthy teamwork

At the beginning, we considered adding more co-founders. But then we thought about it again, and decided against it. It was clear for us that the power of our team and partnership was a great source of joy, and provided a perfect base for the creation we felt blossoming within us.

We will admit, that sometimes, during our business meetings, we found ourselves talking about personal and emotional issues for a good amount of time. When we just started being business partners, this would be very stressful. We knew that there were tasks to do, things to achieve, things that we promised to do, and here we were, talking about our own lives. A partnership between women can be a problem, people say. We got stressed that we were wasting our time.

We realized then, that when we were both calm, clear, and not needing to deal with personal issues, we worked better together. When both of us felt safe, we could achieve so much in such a short time. We knew then, that we didn’t care when others warned us that: “A partnership between women can be a problem, people say”. We simply continued our collaboration and discovered the strengths and the unique qualities of each other.

What makes a good partner for your vision?

Finding a good partner is a matter of good luck. It is finding someone you trust and with whom you share your values and intentions. But when you find that person, you need to learn to work together. The Pantarei Approach was established while observing just what it was that made our partnership such a precious one. We enjoy our differences. We like it when we agree about things, and we delight in noticing that we agree about things in different ways.

We are very different characters, and were raised in different cultures. Regardless, we share a vision. We believe that when people let their uniqueness be expressed, they can create a better life for themselves and the community they are part of. We also believe that when people notice the uniqueness of others, they become part of a much more interesting world.

A partnership between women can be a problem, people say. The “people” are probably are right sometimes. Though they are wrong in so many ways. We always enjoy meeting other women co-founders that run their projects together. We enjoy hearing what interests them, and what they find challenging.

We are so happy that the ‘International Women`s Day in 2020 campaign theme draws on the notion of “collective individualism,” which refers to the idea that every individual is a part of a whole, and that an individual’s actions, behaviors, and mindsets can all have an impact on larger society.’

5 tips for good communication with a female partner

For the International Women’s Day, we looked at the things that help us create healthy and productive communication. If you have a female partner in your life, – be it through friendship or in project, be it a commitment extending over a life-time, or just a temporary shared interest, here are our 5 top recommendations for you, based on our experience:

1. Respect how different she is to you. Don’t try to push her to be like you. Encourage her to express her real thoughts and desires. You might both be positively surprised by the outcome. 
2. Listen to her. Listen beyond the words. It’s true that you cannot guess what she wants if she doesn’t tell you, but if you allowed yourself to listen, you might find your way to the right questions, and through that, give her a chance to find her answers.
3. When she does something, acknowledge it. Don’t take it for granted. You can say thank you; say that you appreciate it; or simply be active yourself. Your actions will encourage her to do more, just as your kind words do.
4. Don’t take advantage of her motivation. If you are lucky, the woman next to you enjoys being active and moves things forward. Find out what things you do best, and do them. Let each of you become better versions of yourself.
5. Sometimes it is about the small things: the note you leave her on her table; the flowers you bring with you for a meeting. Sometimes it is about the big things: the meeting you need to prepare for, the commitment you need to give. Be there fully, just as you are. She doesn’t need you to be anyone, but yourself.

Happy Women day!

Written by Claudia & Vered