Queer Sensitivity and the Pantarei Approach
Benjamin Block and Jochen Stechmann are Berlin and Berlin/Frankfurt based Pantarei Approach practitioners, respectively. In advance of the Queer Sensitivity Workshop they will be holding on the 29th of September 2018, we asked them to share a little of their experiences that have led to them putting together such a unique workshop.
About us – Jochen and Benjamin
We knew each other before Pantarei came into our lives – from performing together in the contemporary dance context years ago. Then we met once again through our bodywork training. Because of our shared background in choreography, we were familiar with a variety of somatic practices and we were curious about bringing the diversity from our movement research background, into what we do today as bodyworkers.
Queer sensitivity in bodywork processes
We both identify as ‘queer’ and while developing our ideas, we spoke a lot about how working with LGBTQIA* clients makes us especially happy and enables us to grow personally. This experience is linked to our own history: in our personal processes, to become more confident and empowered in our queer identity, bodywork has played an essential role. Ben had already hosted workshops on the subject of ‘embodied pride’, so it felt like a natural next step for us to facilitate group workshops/processes aimed at the LGBTQIA* community.
The prospect of gathering and leading a group like this rendered us excited and yet also a bit shaky, with all our insecurities and the anticipation that comes with such a commitment. In fact, it still does! Luckily the subject that we chose – ‘Queer Sensitivity’ – was clever in that respect – it allowed us to be transparent with our own vulnerability, while holding a mindful space for us and the group.
Our workshop as a queer experience
From our own experience, we know that joining a group process that deals with very personal matters, while not knowing the facilitators nor the rest of the group, can be exciting and challenging, and requires bravery. So, when in May 2018 a group of queer participants gave us credit and showed up to the first workshop we held, we were humbled by their trust and courage.
Supported by this group of queer bodies in shared practice, we grew more into our own queer sensitivity, strength and self-awareness. These were some of our guiding questions:
- How can I feel my body as a self-owned and organic queer shelter or safe space?
- How can I recognize and articulate my boundaries, desires and needs more clearly, using my vulnerability as a resource?
- Which parts of myself do I want to investigate and express more?
- What qualities can my every day queerness have? Is it powerful, light, earthy, fluid, careful, passionate, emerald green, grumpy, fragile, soft etc…?
With these questions in mind, we were moving, talking, breathing, playing and simply being – it was an amazing experience, being (re)connected through our sensitivity. This was our tribe. These were our people. We could support them and they could support us.
One participant made a particularly interesting comment about the experience afterwards:
“Usually when I call myself queer, it takes some kind of effort. I need to think. But now I can feel it in my whole body. This is me. There is no doubt about it. It is perfect this way.”
Acknowledging the queer past
As queer people, part of our experience when growing up is noticing that we are somehow ’not normal’. We all had to choose a strategy to deal with that experience of difference in a personal way. We might have made efforts to modify the image of who we were. Or we started observing and getting a feeling for our surroundings very carefully, in order to check whether our differences were obvious. Maybe we performed a role and often we probably ignored our true desires.
Whatever strategy we chose, there was always an underlying need to hide something about ourselves that made us vulnerable. Something that was sensitive – we might not even be aware in fact, that we are still doing this in our lives today. It takes attention to re-examine this and discover it.
The great thing about bodywork is that it can teach us how to negotiate this experience of feeling excluded and partially isolated, in new ways. Instead of focusing on the coping mechanism (the problem of being different), we can feel and re-evaluate our hidden qualities deep down inside of ourselves. Yes, we are different, but what gave us the strength to stand up for those differences all this time? Aiming to embrace our unique strong points was what allowed us to deal with the difficulties and become more of ourselves. Over the years it took less effort, required us to not have to be so strategic and allowed us to have more fragility.
Queer bodywork
As bodyworkers, what we can learn from LGBTQIA* clients especially is how the flow of life can allow us to be different, to be someone who is not ‘within the norm’. What we also learn from this, is how essential this is for feeling truly alive.
In the past we were sometimes astonished at how non-reflective and even prejudiced some heteronormative practitioners and teachers would be, with regard to LGBTQIA* issues. It has made us even more happy that within the Pantarei Approach, there is a genuine and warm attitude towards more transparency and inclusiveness.
In that spirit we want to continue creating spaces for diverse communication and learning, in which we can inspire each other to sharpen our senses and open our hearts.
Let’s learn and grow together!Working with any kind of body is a gift and a great and magical pleasure.
Jochen and Benjamin are very much looking forward to host another ‘Queer Sensitivity’ workshop on Saturday 29thof September 2018 in Berlin, Germany. They are happy to answer any further questions you may have, so for more information and details please visit the Queer Sensitivity Workshop Facebook Event.
By Jochen Stechmann and Benjamin Block
* LGBTQIA Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Intersex, Asexual