Season of Care. Navigating Bittersweet Times
As a person who is attracted to the Pantarei Approach you are, by default, a person who cares about others, as caring for and about others is at the heart of our values and all that we teach. I am proud that you are part of our community whether you are a student, practitioner, client, friend or any mixture of the preceding. Thank you for being a person who thrives on making the world a better place, a world of connection, respect, and beauty. I believe that caring for each other can change the world. In German, we use the word ‘Weltschmerz’ to describe the melancholy or sadness arising from an awareness of the world’s imperfections and injustices. It’s a complex emotional state that often involves a sense of pain and fragility with how things are in the world.
Weltschmerz and carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders
I am working through some personal struggles and pain that pierce my heart, and I feel the collective pain that is so present all around. As a teacher and practitioner of the Pantarei Approach, the answers to my own challenges sometimes come through the experiences of my clients. When Sara, came to her session with me last week, I was surprised by how tired she was. Sara is one of those caring people who worries for every soul, including her family, friends, and strangers. I know just how much Sara loves the festive period when she can enjoy time with those she loves. But this year everything felt too much for her, and asked me to help her find a way to connect to the holiday spirit, to smile and feel the joy, that she usually feels inside.
Sara described how heavily this Weltschmerz weighed down on her, and how it took away her usual festive spirit. Even decorating the Christmas tree, which she always loved doing with her kids, felt meaningless to her. The Pantarei Approach believes that we should not cut ourselves off from what we feel and who we are, but instead, learn more about what we are going through, in order to use elements of our experience as resources and sources of strength.
Connecting to our body and our breath; our vision and our love
In the hands-on part of our session, I placed my hands on Sara’s chest and felt how much tension her body carried in an attempt to not care so much. Sara confirmed that she felt stressed and barely had time for her kids and friends. She realized that she experienced her care as a source of pain and would busy herself with the least important things on her to-do list, to numb her feelings. I suggested that her attempt to run away from caring might have resulted in the helplessness and stress she experienced.
I pressed down into the muscles of her rib cage with my fingertips and explored the area of her sternum – that flat bone on the chest that protects the heart. I continued until there was more movement from her breath, and instead of a wall, a space opened up. Sara still experienced the pain her heart carried. However, she could now reconnect to the immense love she had for her kids. She felt a strong need to put up her Christmas tree as a manifestation of the love in her heart. And she described in detail how she would decorate it, even adding some less traditional ornaments, which meant a lot to her.
The year is coming to an end and this is the season for celebrations and holidays. But you cannot force happiness and optimism. Instead, you can tap into your care and your heart. You can connect to what gives you meaning and what you care about, even if there is sadness to be found.
When the pain becomes too much to bear
Try this out when you feel the pull to disconnect or when the pain becomes too much: Place your hands on your chest. Breathe deeply towards your hands and feel the movement of your chest rising and falling. Take in all the space that you can. Once get a stronger feel for the area, let your fingertips circle over your sternum. Move the small muscles and encourage them to open. Think about the people and things that touch your heart. What action steps can you take to allow your heart to feel all the care along with any pain that it carries?
Trying to cut away from your heart will hurt, and throw you off balance. It is, therefore, crucial to find ways of keeping our hearts intact while giving space to the whole range of
emotions we are experiencing. One of the ways that helped me deal with my Weltschmerz and the personal pain I am facing right now is to remember that every time I connect more to my heart, I also connect more to the people I love, to my community, and the vision I hold in life. Every time I give sessions and help individuals manage their struggles, I add light to this world. Every time clients I work with become more aware of themselves, their hearts, and their connection to the world around them, I contribute toward more healing, balance, and peace in the world.
Expand your heart to make space for the pain, the love, and the care
Although I feel the heaviness of my world and the greater world around me when I apply this principle of expanding into my heart, allowing in the Weltschmerz; I also feel the hope, the love and the quiet pleasures of my work, and I can connect with all the reasons I have to celebrate.
My wish for you, in times when your heart gets overwhelmed with the pain within and around you, is to remember to care for yourself and the people you are close to. Pay attention to others and help them connect to their heart. While you may not feel that you can bring about world peace simply by reaching out to a friend to ask how they are, I believe real and lasting transformation comes about through exactly these gestures of compassion and care.
Reach out
I encourage you to reach out, even if you have a touch of Weltschmerz, and spread the gift of care during this complex season of family, and festivities; reflecting on what was and preparing for what you wish to bring into the world in 2024. Your heart can expand to hold it all, and it wants to. Trust me. It does.
Written by Claudia Glowik
